I knew so clearly what type of mum I am going to be when I was pregnant with my first child. I knew that I am going to keep my identity and I am not going to say “WE did poo poo today”. I knew that I am going to be a strict mum, with high standards and principles. I knew exactly how my kids will be and how they will behave. But my vision collapsed when my Babyboy was born and instead of gently holding my baby and looking to his angel face I got a week of separation staying in different hospitals. And that was only the beginning. Day by day I realized that my vision was just a vision and naturally I had no idea and experience how raise kids. Reality was different from my plan. And I understood that the love sense to your baby is unconditional, but you should work with yourself to gain some parenting skill. I am not talking about changing diapers, the way you hold your baby or similar – these are not essential neither in parent’s nor in child’s life. Lots of contradictory questions started to come to my head:
- How to stay who I am and not to become “WE made a poo poo” mum?
- How to stay attractive to my husband and interesting to my friends?
- Yet, how to have all of the above AND to raise kind, happy and emotionally healthy kids?
I think many parents have these questions.
During my period of “being a mum” I read lots of parenting books. Some of them were good, some did not match my lifestyle and 3 of them made a huge influence to formate my parenting style. I want to share this information with you. Maybe you would like them as well, or maybe they would even change your thinking of parenting.
French Children Don’t Throw Food
(or Bringing Up Bébé UK version)
by Pamela Druckerman
I found a recommendation of this book in The Economist magazine, that was a bit strange, but at the same time drew my attention to it. This is a fantastic book with such a light mood. An American journalist Pamela Druckerman writes about her experience living in Paris with her 3 young children uncovering secrets of French parenting such as babies sleeping through the night from two months, eating adult food, behaving nice in a public, coping with their frustration. The purpose of the book is not to give you an advice. The author just describes her observations and experiences, struggles and winning moments trying the French methods of raising kids. This book gave me a perception that motherhood is not the only role in my life and inspired not to forget that I am a lady, a wife, a friend, a traveler as well.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers
by Tracy Hogg
This book was recommended to me by my friend Hala, whose kids are just like from the book, she is a nice example of strong and loving mother for me. I started reading it while having a trip for two to Maldives with my husband, while our kids were enjoying a week with the grandparents. I immediately forgot all the fiction books that I had in the bag and just devoured it, sharing main tips with my husband. You will not get information what to expect month by moth form your baby in this book, but it is packed with practical recommendations about sleep, food, behavior. This is a very good book about essential parenting issues that I would recommend for young parents with babies and toddlers.
The Whole-Brain Child
by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
This book is a psychology handbook and a brain science book in one. You can find many brain shaping, emotional intelligence growing strategies for dealing with struggles of all ages and stages. I started to use these strategies even on my husband and it really works. Many of them should work in adult relationship, work or friendship situations. Authors give you clear and specific step by step guidance that you can use for each stage of development and adapt to every situation. You can find understandable explanation of anatomy of the brain with responsibilities of each part and connections between them in this book, this helps to understand where anger, fear and tantrums of our kids come from. The strategies presented by authors will help to have emotionally healthy kids. I would recommend this book for parents with toddlers and bigger kids, as I do not believe babies are ready for these type of emotional shaping. This is a fantastic book that answered many of my questions and made our house more peaceful.
Being a parent is full of surprises. No matter how many books you read, nothing can completely prepare you for becoming a good parent. I hope you will like my recommendation. Maybe you have a book that changed your mind about parenting? Share this valuable information 🙂
With Love,
Ausra
