When Did We Stop Learning?

A month ago, I was at a children’s party, enjoying the company of some other moms. We talked about many things, but inevitably, the conversation turned to our children. We talked about our children’s after-school activities and exchanged ideas about how to choose the right ones. Swimming, tennis, golf, soccer, basketball, karate, dance, ballet, chess, piano, language lessons, and many other activities came up. Then a teeny tiny idea about lifelong learning came to mind, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. So I thought it was time to share it.

We Want Our Children to Learn Everything

A baby is born, and almost immediately, the learning begins. We sign up for baby swimming, music classes, and other activities, hoping to encourage development from the very beginning. As they grow into toddlers, we add ballet, soccer, drawing, and other activities.

Once school begins, we continue looking for experiences beyond the classroom. We choose each activity believing it will give them something valuable. Music may teach discipline and concentration, while team sports can introduce cooperation and teamwork. Individual sports such as tennis can teach focus and self-discipline. Physical activities encourage movement and healthy habits, while dance and ballet develop coordination and posture. Learning another language opens yet another door. The list of possible benefits seems endless. Who could argue with that?

My kids are involved in all sorts of after-school activities: robotics, piano, CrossFit, gymnastics, ballet, soccer, and tennis. Every year, I reconsider these activities, ask for their opinions, and try to decide what suits them best. Like so many parents, I put a great deal of thought into their learning and development.

We watch their music and dance performances, sports events, and matches. We take countless photos and videos, proudly recording their progress along the way. And let’s admit it: watching them learn, improve, and discover what they enjoy is one of the most satisfying parts of parenthood. I feel fortunate that we can give our children so many opportunities to learn, explore, and discover what they love.

And Then We Grow Up

Time goes on. Our babies become young adults. They graduate from high school and go to college. Suddenly, they have the freedom to decide for themselves how they want to spend their time. At last, they can choose for themselves rather than follow the routines their parents once chose for them.

No more piano lessons, no more ballet or soccer classes, no more activities that belong, in their minds, to childhood. They are adults now, and the choice is theirs. And often, some of those carefully cultivated habits begin to disappear. Sports are abandoned, instruments are put away, and activities that once filled their weeks gradually become part of the past. Languages once studied begin to fade from memory. Friday evenings with friends replace some of the old routines, and a Saturday morning in bed can easily win over a morning on the tennis court. For the first time, no one is telling us how we should spend our time.

Years later, many of them become parents themselves, and the cycle begins again. Swimming lessons, music classes, sports, and all those carefully chosen activities return, this time for their own children.

But What About Us?

And here is the thought that stayed with me after that conversation: somewhere along the way, many of us stop investing in our own learning with the same enthusiasm we invest in our children’s. As family life becomes busier, our own hobbies, interests, and opportunities to learn are often the first things to disappear.

But does adulthood really mean reaching an age when we are no longer interested in learning, growing, or discovering something new? Why is it so easy to say we have no time to learn something new, yet somehow find time for television every evening? Why do we value these activities so highly for our children but so easily dismiss them for ourselves? We want our children to remain curious, active, and eager to learn. Shouldn’t we expect the same of ourselves? Why do we encourage our children to move their bodies every day while allowing our own active habits to disappear? Why do we insist that children read regularly but stop making time to read ourselves? We know these habits are valuable, yet somehow decide their value has an age limit.

Knowledge is one of those rare resources that grows the more we use it. Too often, we associate learning with formal education at school, college, or university. Once that chapter is finished, it can feel as though learning is finished too. Yet at the same time, we expect our children to remain curious, develop new interests, and constantly learn something new.

Becoming Lifelong Learners

Let’s become lifelong learners. Curiosity and growth do not have to end with formal education. Let’s be a little more honest with ourselves when we say, “I have no time.” Sometimes it is not really about having no time, but about what we choose to make time for. We often believe we cannot afford the time it takes to learn something new. Yet even 15 minutes a day adds up to more than 90 hours over the course of a year. Imagine what we could do with those 90 hours: read several books, make progress in a foreign language, complete an online course, learn to cook something new, develop a creative skill, or even work towards six-pack abs.

Let’s admit how much there is still to learn and seek out new experiences, whether it is ballet or karate, drawing or singing, playing the piano or knitting. Let’s expect progress from ourselves, not only from the younger generation. Let’s make time to learn something new and see it as an investment in ourselves. Let’s show our children that learning is rewarding in itself and that personal growth does not end when we leave school.

Perhaps the best way to raise lifelong learners is to remain lifelong learners ourselves.

 

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

– Mahatma Gandhi